World of a King

Thursday, August 9, 2001
12:43 a.m.
What's playing? Nirvana - "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" (My skinner pulled up a Vash The Stampede Skin on this one. I just gonna sit here and stare at it. ^_^)

Wallpaper ish't...

Asuka (From Evangelion).

Eddy's schizophrenic now, he's partitioned, and the new half has named himself "Elias" [Elias is one of the main characters in Jayne Ann Krentz's novel, Deep Waters (This book is ice)he made extra spicy curry, jalepeno cornbread, and key lime ice cream(exxxxxtraaaa lime)to get back at the other main character, who'd called him "sweet"]

I have to archive, dang it. I don't want to archive. =_= I actually kind of lke this layout. *sigh*

Tuesday, August 7, 2001
06:44 a.m.

I couldn't resist. More CLAMP Freaks Anonymous...

Tuesday, August 7, 2001
06:00 a.m.

. . .and just 'cus I know you didn't wanna know...the stuff that the Kiersey Person had to say about Idealists/Healers: (again...scary)

Portrait of the Healer (iNFp)

"Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and informative and introverted in their interpersonal relations. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticiably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand iNFps, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The iNFp is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

Healers seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect, perhaps because they are likely to have a sense of inner division threaded through their lives, which comes from their often unhappy childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged or even punished by many parents. In a practical-minded family, required by their parents to be sociable and industrious in concrete ways, and also given down-to-earth siblings who conform to these parental expectations, iNFps come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. Other types usually shrug off parental expectations that do not fit them, but not the iNFps. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their differences, believing they are bad to be so fanciful, so unlike their more solid brothers and sisters. They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are OK. They are quite OK, just different from the rest of their family-swans reared in a family of ducks. Even so, to realize and really believe this is not easy for them. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, iNFps can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. Tutors are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with the profane, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when iNFps believe thay have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the iNFp, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public."

I'm feeling much better now. ^_^;; This explains the strange test results that I got back after taking the Trigun-test-thingie.

Though...it's kinda...scary, too. I hope there is wiggle room. I want my wiggle room...**clears throat**...especially on that last bit. I'll blog about what Kit and I did...er...Kit did...(I fell asleep ^^;;)yesterday... in a bit, 'Kay?

Tuesday, August 7, 2001
04:57 a.m.
Listening to: A bunch of stuff I downloaded from Harlen's site, as Audiogalaxy is not working. I love it! It only took, like, fifteen seconds per song. *sigh*(He has really good taste in music, people. Go see. Now.)Right now I'm listening to, "I'll Be There" By Megadeth. ^^;; (Another great song by 'em, though he didn't have it, is "A Tout Le Monde")

Wallpaper:

I love X-Men. This is a potential (loooooong ago) comic spoiler involving Psylocke. Click it to view the real image. It's cool.

I was curious and took the Keirsey Temperament Test, at Kiersey.com

It says that I'm an Idealist...

"The Idealist Portrait
All Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self--always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers betrween people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are rare, making up no more than 8 to 10 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

The four types of Idealists are:

Healers | Counselors | Champions | Teachers

**gulps** Maybe you guys should take this test, too. It's eerily...my God. **points to the word, "Healers" and the stuff about confrontation upsetting Idealists** Need I say more?

Tuesday, August 7, 2001
02:40 a.m.
Listening to: Yoshiki "Good-bye" (Tribute to Hide)Download it. Now.

Current wallpaper:

I do believe that that's the most fem I ever seen Gackt look.

Kit? I lied. I've only had the tracker up for a month. (Since July 6th) and since then, I've had 79 hits from your blog page. . . . Dude. O.O

Monday, August 6, 2001
11:21 a.m.
Song Loop: Utada Hikaru - "Final Distance"

Wallpepper:

Uh...This is from the part of the "Final Distance" Video that makes me wanna cry.

Since you're all probably wondering what I was doing all night last night, I'll tell you. I was in a weird mood, so insted of getting laid or jumping off a building, I went and read Magnificent Seven Slash. That's right. M7 SLASH me. The girl who ran away twitching and screaning when she came across it last year. I was reading Chris and Vin slash--like, them...slashed...together. Some of it was surprisingly good. Some of it was silly, and some of it was smut, but some of it was goooooooood. I also wandered into Harry Potter Slash Land. I couldn't do it. I turned around. Oh well. The Mag 7 stuff was a HUUUUUUGE step for me. Only those of you who were online when I first found out (the shocking way) what slash was. [flash back"...Chris...and Vin...!!! o.o...O.O...o.O...!!!!"]So...yeah.

Monday, August 6, 2001
09:10 a.m.
Listening to: "M" By Hamasaki Ayumi (She rocks!)

On Za Vall:

The Magnificent Seven. All of them. (L-R: Vin, Josiah, Ezra, J.D., Nathan, Buck, and Chris.) *sigh~~*

I've been up all night. Can you tell? ^^;; Sorry about the jokes. They're in-jokes. But they're fun in-jokes, so...ah...if you don't get 'em (as with anything else on my blog) e-mail me, 'cus there'll probably be more.

I'm going over Kit's house again today. ^^;; I know, I just got back. But I've had my Steve and coffee fixes, so I'll be fine.

Yesterday was cool. Kit's house has a strange effect on me. I sleep for hours there. I was ready to plop, then I got home and stayed up all night. =_=' We made cheese biscuit...muffins. I kind liked them that way. I think when I get all of my cookware for the dorms, I'm gonna bring a muffin pan, so I can make my cheese biscuits that way. ^__^ And I want a silver metal mixing bowl, like the one she has. It rocked. It so rocked. I love cooking at other people's houses...when I was over Wick's, they had the pot holders stored in the most ingenious place. **clears throat**

...And somebody hand Kelsey a cookie.

I'll stop now. Really.

Monday, August 6, 2001
08:37 a.m.

Monday, August 6, 2001
08:28 a.m.

CLAMP Freaks Anonymous:

get

Monday, August 6, 2001
03:45 a.m.
Listening to: "Tarzan Boy" Baltimora
(Most everyone has heard this song, they just don't know who sings it--Kind like "We Will Rock You"...By Queen)

Current Wallpaper:

I don't count this as a spoiler. **shrugs** It tells you nothing.

Since not everyone who reads my blog reads the group one...
While I was over Kit's house the past day or so, we decided that there have to be new "Anonymous" groups, like AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and stuff, so...

Fan Girls Anonymous:

Sunday, August 5, 2001
10:58 p.m.
Listening to: Final Distance - Utada Hikaru

Current Wallpaper

This is from Utada Hikaru's "Final Distance" video. I swear. The Webshots wallpaper cycler knows. You might not want to click for the larger image, 'cus...it's kind of...bad. It's yellowed out...and...bad.

I used to stay away from people. Sophomore year, I would just, kind of go off on my own, wanting to be left alone. There was something about people and myself around them that I didn't like: I could never be myself.

I was afraid of critisism. I'd always wear a mask--Crack a joke when I was mad. Laugh when I wanted to run. Smile when I wanted to cry. Nobody knew who the real me was.

A year later, I found my anchor; people that I can be happy with. I made friends that I've been able to keep and be at ease around. But the real me, apparently, wasn't good enough.

I guess the mask was better. People found it more agreeable. Meek and moldy was the way to go. But I can't seem to go back to that anymore.

I hate fighting. In my family, all I've ever seen that came out of a bad mood was a black eye . . .or a dead baby...or my little brother flying across my lap and banging his head on a car door. I hate fighting. That's why I avoid confrontations. I block it out.
I don't want to start a fight. I'm well and truly hurt by what's going on. I hate fighting.

I'll shut up now, because my runny fingers seem to be my problem.
. . .s'not like this has any relevance anyway.

I'm gonna go listen to "Final Distance" . . .and before anybody responds to my blog or anything like that. . .download and listen to this song. It says exactly what I'm feeling and haven't put into words right now. Even if you only understand the English parts.

Friday, August 3, 2001
01:46 a.m.

Damn. It's back. =_=

Friday, August 3, 2001
01:24 a.m.
Listening to: Same.

Wallpaper:
Same

My funk has magically lifted. Kit IM'd me. Thank you, buddy! ^_________________^

Friday, August 3, 2001
12:59 a.m.
Current Loop: Michelle Branch, "Sweet Misery"

Wallpaper...

I had to let it change to keep the blog pattern going.=_='
Gackt!
This is another wallpaper that had me fascinated for a while. I kept it up for weeks. ^_^ (I think I just liked his hair and sweater..and his choker..and the green in the background....)

The lyrics for the song "World of A King" by David Mead are pretty cool. So's the way he posted them on his site. It's so cute! Not your average boring text. So I'm gonna post what he put, instead of typing it... ^_^

See? Cute! Cool song! Cute posting!

I seem to be in a funk lately. I don't know why I'm in a funk. I just am.

Lithia Park, Oregon

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Likes:
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COFFEE...

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